After the last night of meeting, with a head full of mushy problems, I decided to take a walk to the beach. Alone...
Its cool....true it is...
I almost forgot yesterday. I had an 'appointment' with my friend. I hate to make people wait for me. The truth is, I almost forgot. Sorry.... *sigh*
It is yet another "a different side of me" version. I do not claim to blame anybody around me on behalf of somebody. I don't tense to be a super freaking hero for the somebody, or precisely - a women ( Fik, I don't farking care whether I have a feeling at her or not, your intense of stupidity make me feel so pity at you. Look at yourself. And it is not your farking problem to know between me and her).
I was soo sad, I had never have this feeling before. For time being since a few days, perhaps a few years before, I never had so much pain in my life for things what my friends did to me. I wish I could cry, but my 'egotistic chromosome' inside me as a gentleman keep me to say no. I wish I could share my problem with somebody I could trust right now, but never. I love sharing my problem with friends, and so did them, but I ain't trust anybody. No more. Only God knows how much pain that I carry in my heart. The barrier that I have to take the responsible.
It took me almost a sleepless year to fix things, clear everything, start from bottom but it only took one day to destroy everything what I've done. Kaput.
Denial is not an easy thing to shake off and I admit it to people. But I can't void with this farking people who try to crush me. It hurts like hell.
Stop telling, stop sharing, stop protecting.
No more.....
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